Every so often, a story pops up that forces me to be topical and timely. That means you get a bonus post!

I admit it, I had a little tiny orgasm when I caught my first glimpse of the Apple iPhone. It’s everything I ever wanted in a cellphone — I’ve been grouching for years that the pocket-PC-run cell/PDA’s were sorta what I needed, with big screens and QWERTY keyboards and combining all those little gizmos life requires into one doodad with a big shiny screen, but they’re expensive and slow and sorta not very good. iPhone, on the other hand, is better. It’s pretty and shiny and probably has the great Apple software that makes everything better and OMGSQUEE! No stylus!

I’m not going to buy one (yet.) They’re way out of my price range at $499 or $599 for a 4 or 8 gig iPhone, respectively, not to mention I’m smart enough to know not to buy first gen technology. I also have a cell phone I didn’t pay for that works perfectly well. Give it a couple of years and a few updates, and I am so there. Just not now.

I’ve been working on this plan for a couple of months now, and now I’m sure I made the right decision. Apple announced their service plans for the iPhone on Tuesday, though their partner AT&T. All the available plans are 2 year plans, and you could pay $59.99, $79.99 or $99.99 a month, depending on the number of minutes you want. These plans include unlimited data access and a whole bunch of other stuff that’s pretty standard on cell plans these days. There’s also a $36 activation fee.

The $59.99 is 450 minutes, and with the unlimited data thing, that doesn’t sound too horrendously bad to me, IF AND ONLY IF it includes free nights and weekends. The press release doesn’t mention that, so I’m guessing no. But for a plan that includes Internet, up until now, that’s not a bad price. I just wonder if all the people who will be lining up on Friday to buy an iPhone at 6pm tomorrow will realize that they’re signing up to pay 2100 bucks.

I’m not kidding. $59.99 a month for 24 months ($1439.76), $499 iPhone ($1938.76), $36 activation fee ($1974.76), 6% sales tax if you live in PA like I do ($2093.25), and I’m not even going to pretend to estimate the cost of all those little accessories that you just need to have, or what the taxes and fees would be on that service plan.

See? $2100, minimum. I’ll bet you Apple and AT&T know it.

Even though millions of people are about to be fleeced, there is one very, very good thing about this kerfluffle. The iPhone is the first real honest-to-gawd “cellputer” that’s being marketed directly to consumers. It doesn’t really do much that a Blackberry or a Treo or one of those pocket-PC Cells can’t do, but all of them are business gadgets first and foremost. Since they’re business gadgets, the cellphone companies charge business rates for the Internet access, which is to say a lot. The rates AT&T came up with are pretty excellent by comparison, and they will only come down in the future, making Internet cellphone plans reasonably priced across the board for the first time ever.

Regardless of what model computer-phone you’ll be carrying in the near future, the real legacy of the iPhone will be simply that the Internet will be in everyone’s pocket. You just wait and see.

For my cost-analysis of the iPod through time, check out the original iLuddite post.