Every Thursday is Goat-Free Simplicity Day at Living Behind the Curve.

I hate mornings with an unbridled passion usually reserved for dental work, flat tires, sewage backups, and bad hard drives. My circadian rhythm’s complete disregard for daylight would have me wide awake around noon, doing my best work around 10 PM, and sailing off into dreamland sometime close to 3 AM.

My current lifestyle does not lend itself well to my night owl ways. I need to be as functional for my hour-long commute at 7 AM as I am when I leave class at 10 PM. I’ve struggled with this cycle my entire life — my mother reports that getting me up for school was a Herculean task — and it wasn’t until recently that I began to fight back. When I made the decision to fit 30 minutes of exercise into my daily schedule, it was painfully obvious where that time needed to fit — I needed to become a morning person.

Would you like to know my secret? The one thing that turns me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 5:30 AM?

The secret is that there is no secret. There is nothing in this world, including an IV of double-brewed espresso, that can make me happy to be awake at that time of day. Every single morning, I grumble as I put on my sneakers, snarl when I fill my water bottle, and say things to my elliptical machine that I wouldn’t dare send to PostSecret. And yet somehow I do it. Every single day, I muster motivation from the depths of my brain and I get my butt out of bed.

I’m still half-asleep when I shower in the morning, and I still can’t listen to podcasts on my way to work, because listening to people read puts me to sleep. (Fortunately for everyone else on the road, the local shock jocks are enough to keep me amused and awake.) Having that extra time in the morning, however, has enough benefits to keep me coming back for more. I’ve found that starting my day off with a little cardio keeps the blood flowing to my brain on long days, and that the combination of exercise and stretching has done wonders for my fibromyalgia. Above all, there’s a certain sense of accomplishment. Not only do I feel good, I’ve added an extra 30-45 minutes to my day without skipping a beat.

So there you have it. My secret to living the early life is to accept mornings for the hideous creatures they are, and concede that it’s OK for misery to be part of the process. I’d love to hear how you cope with mornings — just don’t expect a coherent response from me before 10 AM.

Image courtesy of Morgue File.