Sweatin’ to the Low-Calorie, Fat-Free, South Beach, Cabbage Soup Finances

Every Friday is 11 Things day at Living Behind the Curve.

Every experience we encounter has a chance to impact our lives. We absorb it, we learn from it, and if we’re lucky we’re a little bit wiser for it. What we learn is sometimes not as surprising as where we learn it from.

How much can we learn about personal finance from grapefruit diets and exercise tapes? Eleven things, at least.

11 Diet Concepts You Can Take to the Bank

1. Drink water.
   It’s a tip that has stood the test of time, and with good reason: it’s good for you! It’s also the cheapest beverage around. Yes, I’m referring to tap water — get over yourself. Every local flavor of tap water takes some getting used to — don’t expect the water where you live now to taste the same as the water you drank out of the hose as a kid. Unless your water is contaminated, drink up.
2. Acknowledge your weaknesses.
   If your weakness is chocolate cake, and you will eat it if it’s in the house, you make sure to stay away from it, right? Well, if you know that you tend to impulse-buy vintage lamps while browsing the local flea market, stay away from the lamp stand!
3. Support is key (the Weight Watchers model).
   While you may not want to attend support groups for people looking to get their finances under control (like Debtors Anonymous), there are plenty of ways to get that support. Tell your close friends and your family what you are doing, and what you are looking to accomplish (or start a blog, and become accountable to the world. It’s great motivation.)
4. Output must exceed input in order to achieve success.
   It’s a straightforward mathematical concept: to lose weight, you need to burn more calories than you take in. To build your finances, you need to spend less than you earn.
5. Recognize that you will want to cheat, and plan for it.
   You’re going to want that bag of Oreo cookies, and you’re going to want that cashmere sweater. Plan minor distractions for yourself, things you enjoy that you will do when the craving strikes. Instead of grabbing that new DVD box set, go home and play guitar instead.
6. Weigh yourself regularly.
   You need to know where you stand in order to gauge your progress and make adjustments if needed. Just don’t check in too frequently, lest you drive yourself insane.
7. Everything has hidden costs.
   This is perhaps more obvious in personal finance than in dieting, but it’s equally true in both cases. Frequently, low-fat processed food will have an enormous amount of salt and sugar to make up for the loss of taste and texture. You may have saved on your fat count, but eating that low-fat food may not have saved you any calories. In the same vein, many purchases have hidden expenses. When you buy a car, you’re not just paying for the car itself. You’re also committing yourself to insurance rates, routine maintenance, gasoline, and interest on the loan if you finance the car. You can’t necessarily avoid these hidden costs, but you should do your homework so you know what you are getting yourself into.
8. Stay positive (The Richard Simmons Effect).
   Annoying, maybe, but Richard Simmons keeps thousands of people sweatin’ to his particular musical decade of choice by motivating with positivity. I love Richard Simmons for his “you can do it!” attitude, and if he can make me dance with an invisible telephone just by making me believe that he gives a flying hoot, then that’s good stuff in my book. Ahem. Yes, Dance Your Pants Off (AKA Sweatin’ to the 80’s) is one of my dirty little secrets. Er…money! Right. If you believe that you can get your financial ducks in a row, and stay positive about it, you will have the momentum you need to succeed.
9. For lasting results, you need to change the way you think.
   Crash-dieting is as bad for your wallet as it is for your body. If you freeze your credit cards in a block of ice until they’re paid off but you don’t change any of your spending habits, you’ll be right back where you started.
10. Everything in moderation.
    If you really, really want bacon with your egg white omelet, have it — just don’t eat half a pound, fry your eggs in the drippings, and repeat every 6 hours. As goes health, so goes wealth: if you really, really want the Clerks 10th Anniversary DVD, buy it, but put down Dogma and the rest of the View Askew collection. (Trust me, you didn’t need Jersey Girl anyway.) And, while I certainly don’t recommend low-fat bacon, I do recommend low-cost fun. Whatever your pleasure, see if you can get it used.
11. Automation is the goal.
    You probably don’t want to spend every waking moment of every day counting pennies, any more than you enjoy counting carbs. Learn what works for you, and incorporate it into your daily life in such a way that, after a time, it comes naturally. You may need to remind yourself to be good every so often, but the core knowledge and values will be embedded in your subconscious, guiding you every step of the way.

I hope I’ve given you some food for thought on this warm July afternoon. Feel free to abuse this metaphor some more in the comments, or smack me about the head for a bad pun.

Image courtesy of Morgue File.