Every Friday is 11 Things day at Living Behind the Curve.
Are you feeling run down? Tired? Do you have that not-so-fresh feeling? Are you avoiding your friends and coworkers because you are certain that if someone so much as thinks of coughing in the same room as you, you’re going to get sick? You could say that the common cold or depression is the great health blight upon the modern world, but I say that it’s generalized malaise — I don’t know about the rest of the world, but we Americans don’t take care of ourselves at all, and we suffer the consequences by feeling like our filters are clogged most of the time. That’s me in a nutshell this week, so I thought I’d bring you my 11 Simple Frugal Methods for Curing Your Crappy Feeling. Now pay attention, because your mother has been telling you this same exact stuff for years.

1. Get more sleep. Almost nobody gets enough sleep at night, yours truly included. Get to bed just an hour earlier every night and see if that doesn’t help you feel a little better.

2. Get better sleep. Sometimes, more hours aren’t enough. If you’re snoring at night, or aren’t breathing properly, you’ll be working hard while you’re sleeping just to breathe. There are plenty of over-the-counter treatments for snoring, as well as decongestants and anti-histamines available that may help. You may also want to talk to your doctor if this is an issue. Another thing to consider, if you wake up with a sore back, you’re probably sleeping in pain. Try rotating and flipping your mattress, getting a mattress pad, or even consider buying a new bed. Your bed is supposed to be comfortable, and it’s worth the price.

3. Get more exercise. If you’re feeling rundown, listless, and generally blah, try moving a little. People weren’t designed to sit at a desk and stare at a computer all day, and I’m supremely guilty of this one. Exercising gets your everything moving, and encourages your body to repair and rebuild itself. It’s sort of like taking out the trash and fixing the holes in the walls of your house. Exercise also releases endorphins and other happy chemicals in your brain that make you feel good, which also helps.

4. Cut down on caffeine. I loves me some coffee, and so does everyone else. It’s yummy and creamy and gives that desperately-needed boost in the morning to do what needs to be done. Unfortunately, a raging caffeine addiction borks your body’s attempts to tell you “I’m tired, dumbass!” and generally provides artificial energy that rampages right over your physical needs. Coffee, and the wide variety of garbage we flavor it with, is also kinda tough on your digestion, but drinking a little less coffee and doing a little more in your day-to-day so you don’t need it will make you feel a little better.

5. Cut down on smoking. Same as with coffee. Everyone knows it’s bad for you. I will absolutely never tell an addict to quit their vice, but if it weren’t bad for you, it wouldn’t be a vice. Try to cut down. If you don’t want to or can’t cut down, try to improve the quality of your tobacco. In my experience, the really good premium tobacco is less bad for you than cheap tobacco. None of it is particularly good for you, but I will write an article in the future of the different levels of bad that different tobacco products posses. My hanging should be scheduled about three days after that, so watch this space for more information.

6. Eat more fresh vegetables. They’re full of vitamins and crap, but more importantly, they scrub out your colon and make you regular. Nothing makes you feel like crud than a cruddy colon, and honestly, what’s more enjoyable than a good poo?

7. Eat more red meat. This goes out especially to the women in the crowd. Keeping your iron levels up is kinda vital to having energy, and since women have higher iron requirements and are prone to building up and then expelling the blood-rich temporary lining in our uteri (uteruses?) it’s that much more important for us. Dark green veggies will also supply iron, but isn’t it great to know that, now and then, you can hoist a good steak to your health? And lets not forget those vital B vitamins, either!

8. Eat less crap. Junk food is bad for you, but it tastes so damn good! While all that weird post-modern food science voodoo in the ingredient list probably isn’t helping you any, when you eat junk food you’re not eating good-for-you-food, and so it’s sort of a double-whammy against your general well-being. This would also be a good place to mention multivitamins. If you’re not going to eat healthy, at least try to supplement your crap diet with supplements.

9. Get out more. Humans are social beings. Do you remember, in college, you’d stay up till stupid-o-clock in the morning debating philosophy or social science or music, and how intelligent and deep you felt, and how satisfying it was to binge on your snobby thought of the week? Simply interacting with people and talking will flood your brain with all those same happy chemicals that exercise does. You need to flex your brain, too, and conversation is one of the most efficient ways to do it.

10. Check for allergies. If you’re still feeling like crap, consider consulting with an allergist. There are uncounted walking wounded wandering through life with undiagnosed food allergies that don’t realize chronic malaise is a problem. There are rarely pleasant outcomes to allergist appointments — consider being told that you’re allergic to chocolate, or that you need to avoid wheat or soy for the rest of your life, and good luck to you if you do. If you search the web, there are plenty of elimination diets and other methods for self-diagnosing allergies, and if done properly I’ve seen them be very effective, but I won’t recommend one because I’ve never tried doing that sort of thing.

11. Have more sex. It combines interpersonal communication, exercise, usually a nice dinner, and some hard sleep afterwards. What’s not to love? Even an intimate evening for one helps get the blood and those wonderful sexy brain chemicals flowing. And yes, I advocate regular masturbation for all people, regardless of relationship status, but that’s another post. As long as you’re not doing anything enormously stupid, give it a shot. If absolutely nothing else, an orgasm is cheaper than a sleep aid.

If you’ve got any good tips to add, you know what to do. I’m going to bed now.

Every Thursday is Goat-Free Simplicity day at Living Behind the Curve.

My stress levels lately have been through the roof — the new entry on my to-do list, “find a new job”, doesn’t exactly encourage gentle relaxation.  Unwilling to lose sight of my goals for daily living, however, I’ve made some small (and some not-so-small) changes to my patterns and routines that minimize the stress while maximizing the experience.

The first breakthrough came when I realized that the one thing I want most from a new job is time.  I focused my search on local companies (within a 5-mile radius) and opened up to the idea of part-time work.  One of the first openings I pursued under these criteria seems to be pretty close to the ideal job for me right now, and may end up being my new job.

Once my job search was focused and fully underway, I made the decision to be completely open and honest with my boss.  I explained that I was not resigning yet, but that I was looking.  I am blessed with a very understanding boss, and while he is rather upset at my departure, he is supportive and doing anything he can to help me (including letting me leave early and come in late for interviews.)  By doing this, I’ve removed a major potential stressor: I don’t need to come up with stories about why I’m late or what I’m doing, and I don’t have to worry that my secret will get out somehow.  Plus,  the full-disclosure route truly benefits everyone involved.  My boss and co-workers are prepared to start taking on some of my every day tasks, and I have extra time to close up shop, so to speak.  I’m creating a status book for all of my projects, so with a little bit of luck and lots of documentation, none of my (soon to be former) clients will suffer.  Rather than a massive crazy rush to get everything documented and people trained, I should be able to spend my last days there having nostalgic M&M fests at an admin desk and taking down pictures.

Outside of work, I’ve made a point to restructure my leisure time.  One of my favorite hobbies is crossword puzzles and word games, but the time I used to spend on them has been eaten recently by schoolwork.  This week, I picked up a new puzzle book and I’ve been giving myself 15 minutes a night to “play”.  I’m finding great joy in rediscovering this habit, and it keeps my mind sharp.

The final change I made was to add a conscious element of spirituality to my every day life.  I’ll read a short passage on a web site, read today’s entry in my Celtic Book of Days, or even just drive with the windows down so that I can be in touch with the elements and not just live in the hermetically-sealed and air-conditioned world.  It keeps me grounded, and keeps my soul alive.

I know that these changes are mostly specific to me and my current position in life, but I think that the general lesson is a good one, no matter where your life is heading: find small things you can do to achieve your goals, be they financial or spiritual or personal, and act on them.  Be open and honest whenever possible (not everyone can have this conversation with their boss, I realize), because facades in all forms are at best exhausting and at worst devastating.

Most importantly, don’t become so consumed by stress that you forget to live.

Every Wednesday is Domestic Science day at Living Behind the Curve.

Yesterday afternoon, after the second of two job interviews, I dropped by my local thrift store. I noticed that there was a new painting on the window, and took a step back to take in the whole picture.

“A stocking? Wait, no. It can’t be. That’s not an elf, either. There’s no way. Damn. That thing over there is definitely a badly-drawn reindeer. What the hell?” I shook my head and walked through the door. Everything seemed normal, until I got to the housewares section, where there were rows upon rows of red and green merchandise. Dozens of hand-made stuffed trees fought wooden snowmen for shelf space, and two little old ladies wrestled over snowflake-shaped doilies.

Yeah, okay, so maybe there was no wrestling.

It took me a minute to realize that this particular store had not hit paydirt at a Claus family estate sale: it’s Christmas in July. (The prices, BTW? No better than you’d pay in December, at least at this store.) And so, in honor of the winter season of consumption being just six months away, I thought I’d offer up one of our favorite winter beverages.

In the winter of 2006, when we went caroling with a group of friends, Mer conjured this recipe this past winter to keep us toasty. It’s grown-up cocoa with a spicy kick, and it goes very well with cognac. It does require some advanced preparation in the form of a homemade cordial, however, so you might want to start soon.

Mer’s Kick-Ass Spiced Hot Chocolate

Ingredients:

• 2 cups vodka
• 2 ounces dried chipotle peppers
• 2 cups simple syrup ( 1 1/2 cups sugar dissolved in 1 1/2 cups water), cooled
• 6 tablespoons cocoa powder
• 6 tablespoons sugar
• 2 cups whole milk
• 1/2 cup light cream
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 1/4 cup whole coffee beans
• pinch salt

Combine vodka, peppers, and simple syrup in a glass jar and seal tightly. Set in a dark place and allow to steep for a minimum of 3-4 weeks undisturbed. Strain and re-bottle in a clean jar.*

In a small saucepan, cook 2 teaspoons of the reserved chipotle cordial over very low heat until reduced by half. Set aside.

In a small bowl, whisk together cocoa, sugar, and 1/2 cup milk. Pour mixture into a pot set over low heat and whisk in 1/2 teaspoon chipotle syrup, remaining milk, cream, salt, and coffee beans. Drop in cinnamon stick and simmer over low heat, stirring constantly, for about 10 minutes. Strain and serve warm.

Serves 2-4.

*You will have chipotle cordial left over; bottled, it makes a wonderful gift; it’s a sweeter, more sophisticated version of Absolut Peppar.

Every Tuesday is Kitchen Sink day at Living Behind the Curve.

I was checking out the search keywords that have hit Living Behind The Curve, and I noticed that there were a lot of questions nestled in there among the stranger requests. Since my blessed readers don’t seem too keen on asking questions directly, I figured I’d take today to answer the inquiries that have floated in from the internet ether.

how long to fry a funnel cake? Until it’s appealingly golden brown. I looked at about a dozen recipes, and most of them essentially say “cook it till it’s done”. The rest generally agree with my rule of thumb in high-temp cooking, which is to give your funnel cake about 2 minutes per side, and adjust from there to your preferences.

how much vinegar to clean kettle? You probably won’t need more than a cup, but as always, it depends on the size of your kettle.
how do i cook beef shin on bone? You braise it. Srsly.

I’ve also gotten a lot of hits for “curves no pasta salad“, enough that we’re the number one site returned. I decided to look it up, and it turns out that the Curves gym franchise has either a cookbook or a set of recipes, and their No-Pasta Salad has gained almost mythical status. Partly, the recipe doesn’t seem to exist outside of the Google cache, which is unfortunately beyond the scope of the average netizen, so it’s a little like finding Sasquatch. The other bit of the myth seems to come from the ingredient list, which is so absurdly all over the map, it may just taste a little like Sasquatch, too. Of course, almost nobody knows what it tastes like, because nobody in their right mind is going to spend more than 20 bucks for the ingredients and more than an hour chopping all this junk for a salad.

I’ve rescued the recipe for… well, I honestly don’t know what the hell it’s for, but I’m sort of convinced that this needs to be better preserved on the internet. Try it if you like. I’ve mostly been pointing and laughing.

Prep time: 25 minutes (not counting overnight refrigeration)

1 cup small cauliflower florets
1 cup baby carrots, cut in half
1 cup mushrooms, cut in small pieces
2 tablespoons water
1 cup snow peas, cut into pieces
14 ounce can artichoke hearts, cleaned and chopped
1/2 cucumber, diced
1/4 cup sliced ripe olives
1/4 cup garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup frozen green peas
2 (6 ounce) cans water packed solid white albacore tuna, drained
3 ounces cheddar cheese, diced
1 cup Fat Free Zesty Italian Salad Dressing
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 teaspoon lemon pepper seasoning

Combine cauliflower florets, baby carrots, mushrooms and water in a bowl. Cover tightly and microwave for 5 minutes. Let stand for 3 minutes, covered. Drain completely, then pat vegetables dry. Combine with the remaining ingredients and mix thoroughly. Refrigerate overnight.
Makes 4 (1 1/2 cup) servings.

Per Serving - Calories 302, Fat 12.5g, Protein 25g, carbs 23g

I… can’t possibly be funnier than that salad. Over and out.

Every Monday is Intents and Purchases day at Living Behind the Curve.

I’m gonna take another swipe at the Personal Finance blogosphere. This might turn into a regular series. Please, helmets on.

A couple of things happened this weekend that really changed how I look at money and its place in my life. First, I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Love it or hate it, I think it’s become a perennial classic in modern personal finance literature. (There will be a full detailed book review in the near future, I promise.) Secondly, Dani basically sat me down for a financial meeting Saturday night and laid out a whole buttload of research she’s done on how we can restructure our finances to end up ahead of the game even if her new job becomes a worst-case scenario. While it hasn’t changed how I plan to use and treat my money much, my whole understanding of the process changed dramatically. The concepts of frugality, retirement, and asset were abstracts to me, I realized, but not any more.

The PF community, I think, suffers from the fact that most of its members became members in their attempt to recover from debt. PF bloggers are really, really good at getting people out of debt, and it’s a vitally important learning resource for millions of people. The problem I see is that once these people are out of debt, the PF zeitgeist starts to break down. We learn to live below our means because that’s what got us in trouble in the first place, we learn to be frugal so we can pay off our credit cards. And then, once the credit cards are gone, we pay off the cars! And the mortgage! And then we get a high-interest savings account and marvel at the power of compound interest!

This isn’t a bad way to look at everything, necessarily, but what I see is a whole community of risk-adverse cheapskates who are absolutely terrified of debt. In fact, PF community members have a nasty habit of portraying themselves as recovering victims of their own stupidity. Considering the source, it’s understandable, but it’s not healthy, and it’s not the best way.

I’ve said before that money isn’t a possession for its own sake, and it’s not some sort of evil enemy, it’s a tool. I’m going to amend my previous statement: money is potential power. Money does things, and money can make things happen, but in and of itself it doesn’t do much of anything. It’s just like a battery. When you plug batteries into your gizmos, your gizmos do things, but on their own, batteries just sit there, holding potential.

What the average person doesn’t seem to know, and what the PF community does a piss-poor job at communicating, is that we as citizens of the first world have enormous financial potential with the money we have right now. This includes those in debt and the poor. Almost nobody knows this because financial education is somewhere between abysmal and nonexistent, and because we exist in cultures that encourage us to fritter away our money on bullshit, and therefore become powerless. (If you’re at all familiar with political activism of almost any stripe, this should be a familiar concept.)

Personal finance should be about taking your money and maximizing it’s impact. The PF community does that… sorta… maybe… but most of the time, they get caught up in paying off those god damn credit cards. That’s a totally important thing, since we all know just how crippling consumer debt can be, but it’s not seeing the forest for the trees.

We need to reenvision personal finance. If money is power, then every dollar you bring home that you aren’t compelled to spend represents your power potential. Remember, money in and of itself doesn’t do anything. Your power potential is cumulative. If you have $500 after paying your bills in a month, you don’t have $500 f0r the month, you now have $500 more. It’s tempting to think of budgeting in cyclical months, but if credit card companies can treat your debt cumulatively with their compounding fees and interest, you can do that with your own money, and I think you should. And, it doesn’t matter if you have only a little money. Next month, you’ll have a little more. Even a little bit of money is potential power.

If money is potential power, and that potential power is cumulative, then frugality is the first step to increasing your rate of accumulation by decreasing the compulsion to spend. I don’t mean “stop compulsively shopping”, but you should stop that to. It’s the simple formula of “the less you spend, the more you save”. If you can reduce your power consumption, the power company will compel you to pay less. If you have no credit card debt, you aren’t compelled to feed a Visa.

If you’re spending your money on crap, you are essentially giving your power to the merchants, and you are never compelled to buy crap. You get stuff, and the merchants get profit that they can leverage into building their business, destroying their competitor, or buying a congressman to change industry regulations in the merchant’s favor. It may not be a lot of money to you or the merchant, but the merchants know that little bits here and there accumulate, and so should you. Being in debt is worse — when you buy things on credit, you’re traveling through time and giving away power from your future! Be frugal, hang on to the little bits, and they will accumulate for you too.

So, if money is potential power, and frugality allows you to maximize its accumulation, Personal Finance is the practice that realizes the power of your money. Saving, investment, philanthropy and mindful spending are all how you maximize your money’s power to your greatest benefit. Interest and investment begets more money. Philanthropy begets power to groups, ideas or problems that you feel needs it. Mindful spending begets satisfaction.

It’s all a process, and with a little work and a little luck, with time it speeds up. With a little more time, and a little more luck, the process becomes self-perpetuating, and the instant that happens, you’ve achieved financial independence. Retirement.

Freedom.

~~~

None of this is news. It’s not even that original of an idea, but this concept suddenly popped up and slapped me hard across the face on Saturday night, everything fell into focus all at once. I haven’t heard a single person talking about money like this in the PF blogosphere, and hopefully if I put it out there, it’ll give someone else that “ah-ha!” moment so that like me, they now know what they need to do to achieve their goals.

Next week, Dani will be detailing the budgeting ideas she came up with that inspired this post. It’s not for the weak of heart — risks will be taken, and retirement plans will be plundered. Stay tuned.