Neato.

2007 August 16

I think I should be flattered. Do I get a prize? And what would have happened if I’d actually insulted the woman? I need to remember that sometimes bouncing around on the ragged margins of sexual minority leads to communication breakdown, and that really not very many people honestly think that “slut” isn’t a compliment, a neutral adjective, or a valid lifestyle choice.

As for “breaking your heart into a million little pieces” by revealing a picture of myself, VA, let me save you the time. Just pretend I’m Hilary Swank’s studlier sister, as the big, fat, bitter, insecurity-riddled truth would deflate your hard-on faster than skinny girls sprinting to the bathroom after finding donuts next to the coffee maker at work. The ugly truth is that you wouldn’t fuck me with Bea Arthur’s strap on even if she promised to do all the work.

Now try to get THAT image out of your head.

13 Responses leave one →
  1. August 16, 2007

    Worst thing that can come of this is that your blog is goign to get a hell of a lot of hits.

  2. August 16, 2007

    eeeyeah. *laughs* I’ve octupled the lifetime pageviews of this site in the past two hours. Cool, but strange.

  3. IMReader permalink
    August 16, 2007

    I think you need to stop ranting and see the humor in all this…

  4. August 16, 2007

    IMReader… who’s ranting?

  5. Aaron permalink
    August 16, 2007

    lol. you. are. awesome!

  6. August 16, 2007

    I’d do you with Bea Arthur’s strap on. After all, it’s cunning wit and a girl who knows not to spend the night after we fuck who gets me going.

  7. Jessica permalink
    August 16, 2007

    I love you. You are awesome!

  8. August 16, 2007

    Aaron and Jessica, YOU are awesome for fluffing my ego, thanks!

    Laura, I know the value of not spending the night, but I’m not very good at it — I’m all post-coitally comatose if you do your job right. knowing that, would you fuck me without ol’ Betty’s joyrider?

  9. richbh permalink
    August 17, 2007

    Your traffic is up, that’s good enough in my book.

    However: V rarely gives anyone a compliment, so i think when she does she’s probably sincere.

    So congratulations!

  10. August 17, 2007

    Maybe the first couple times around. ;)

  11. zooey permalink
    August 18, 2007

    dude, she writes a shock blog. Did you honestly expect her not to just laugh?

  12. June 11, 2008

    I know this is old, but I read this whole exchange starting over at VA’s site, and ROFLed my way through it.

    Am I wrong for thinking you’re both friggin’ hilarious?

  13. June 12, 2008

    No sir, anyone who accuses me of being hilarious could possibly be wrong about anything.

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